Today is a good day to be thankful

Today I’m thankful to see my son has once more proven he has grown into a hard-working and responsible adult…

Today I’m thankful to see my father has taught me the importance of remaining youthful in spirit as well as attitude…

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I AM THANKFUL

I am thankful for positive words when I needed them immensely…

I am thankful for having a trusted (handsome) friend to lean on…

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I Live Next Door to a Park? Seriously?!

One of my favorite posts! Written May 22, 2012: 

Sure it’s easy to miss something that’s been right under your nose.  People do it every day, right?  Hence the saying: “If it was a snake, it would have bit me!”  But, a park?  I missed a park?  You know – trees, green grass, picnic tables, kids laughing and playing, people power walking their dogs – a park.  Now, if this park was a snake, well, it would have to be a gigantic python I’d say! If this park was a python it would have snuck up behind me and given me a much-needed  humongous endless firm hug with the tight squeeze follow-up!  What the whaa?!   Yes – I’m admitting in front of God and everyone.  “My name is Julie and I did not know that I live next door to a park.”  Sum-mabeeotch, I live next door to a park.  Clearly I did not realize just how much I really do not have the energy to get out unless it is a short necessary errand.  Errands are my cardio.

So here’s what happened in my most excellent moment in too long of a time. (This moment has made my top ten most excellent moments in my hall of fame of my life.  Just saying.)   I had been inside a couple days – I lovingly refer to it as “resting”.  We’ve had quite a heat wave here in my part of the world and I was camped out and laid up on my couch with my water, books, heating pad, cell phone, laptop and my cat all within reach as I was looking out at my patio.  Watching the trees and the sky – dreaming up more of my many ideas, plans and some-days.   That’s when it hit me with a fabulous Bam – “I can slowly cruise in my car to conserve my energy while I check out all the plants and flowers in my complex that are surviving this heat.  And when I am able, I’ll buy the same kind of flowers.”  Brilliant.  (I did not inherit the “green-thumb” that both of my parents have.)   There I went, doin’ a gangster lean slow cruise in my dirty Honda.  I opened my sunroof and windows as I turned on my air-conditioning.  No music this time.  I was longing to hear sounds of life in session while I was outside enjoying my solo scenic tour of my complex – we have over 200 units.  As I was still checkin’ out all my condo neighbor’s spring flowers, a white iron gate that was surrounded by vines caught my eye.  Even though the white iron gate is on the opposite side of where I live – sheesh! – I’ve lived here 3 years – and this my first sighting?  Geeze – how sad is that?!

Impulsively, I parked my car in an open spot next to the white iron gate.  I walked over and gave it a pull and a yank.  It was locked! Hmmm.  Thinking.   Wait! do I have the key?  Looking at my key chain I noticed a gold key I’ve never used since it was given to me.  Well? Do I have the key or not? Yes I do!  (Who knew?!  I laughed out loud at myself.)  I felt like I had picked the winning key at a carnival that opened the lock to a secret hidden treasure chest.  As I slowly pushed open the gate and took only two steps in, I could not believe my eyes.  And what a treasure I had won indeed. Before me was a picture perfect beautiful park.  Did I walk on to a movie set and it was a fake back drop?  Seriously.  A park. I don’t think I’ve ever lived so close to a park in my whole life.  It only took me 3 years to see it!  And it was there all along – all this time – waiting for me when I was ready.

I quietly closed the gate behind me.  Is this a secret park? Once I stepped inside, I felt my new-found surroundings lift my sad and weary spirit.  The warm breeze blew the cobb webs off of me. I followed the trail as if I was Dorothy and it was the yellow brick road.  I looked down at my feet to double check.  Nope, no ruby slippers, just my good ol’ Skechers Shape-ups.  They seemed to work just as well for me though – Dorothy would be proud. A gust of warm wind transported my weary soul and body to a place where I felt no pain.  My heavy chains melted away from my arms and legs as if they had been made from ice – leaving the heat completely invisible to me. Unfamiliar freedom.  Quite different from the way I remembered freedom from long ago.  An abundance of gratitude filled freedom lifted my spirit with every step. I could hear the grass growing. I heard a leaf fall before it touched the ground right in front of me.  I turned around to take another look to see if the white gate was for real or only another mirage I found in my vivid imagination during my healing and isolation.  Keeping a slow pace I walked a little further.  “If I walk slowly for just 2 or 3 minutes, I’ll rest a while and be ok.”  Carefully.  Resting. U-turn at the little wooden bridge. “Proceed on!”  I happily said out loud just like my hero Meriwether Lewis.  And off I went!  Well, sort of anyway.  A couple of minutes later I was close to the white iron gate.  I sat down at a cement picnic table in the shade and I took the last sip of my water.  My poor body has been so toxic.  I was a little out of breath.  I’ve become weak from getting too thin.  Geeze was I sweating bullets!  It was rough, but I did it.  I’ll be back quite often, if only to rest and rejuvenate. But I had found my park – my sanctuary.  God’s perfect timing – not mine.

I ate my healthy “allergy-free safe food for me” dinner.  Drank more water.  Took another Epsom Salt bath.  Showered.  And then fell into my bed and slept 11 hours straight.  The next morning as I woke up, I said my prayers for my friends who are on my prayer list.  Praying makes me feel useful.  When I started to make my way down stairs, I felt like heavy chains had been put on my arms and legs.  With a deep breath, I drank my glass of my recommended “Medical Food” powder formula.  Still in my jammies, I went into my living room.  I laid down on my couch with my water, books, heating pad, cell phone, laptop and my cat all within reach as I looked out at my patio.  Watching the trees and the sky – dreaming up more of my many ideas, plans and some-days.   And I smiled to myself knowing I had the key all along.  Literally.

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A Victory Is Still A Victory No Matter How Small

I feel victorious when I find a Victory Garden

I feel victorious when I see a piece of the ocean

I feel victorious when I am able to be still

When I have another day sober – I am victorious!

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5 Things That Refill My Spirit (no matter what)

 

seeing my cat when she thinks she is hiding

taking a healing epsom salt bath with natural oils

watching the colors change during a sunset

receivng I Love You in a new light

bright colored tulips from a visiting friend

 

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. . . I’ve been thinking about the different ways to count and gather blessings. With so much emotional pain and physical pain in the world, I realized I needed a reminder of “Looking For Blessings”! . . .

it's a beautiful life. (if you like roller coasters!)

The only way I will find a blessing is when I first begin to look for a blessing.  Just like on every Easter morning when my big brother and I looked for the brightly colored Easter eggs.  We did not question that the Easter Bunny hid candy and eggs for us.  We knew in our hearts that we were surrounded by our treats and surprises even though we could not see them.  We were thrilled just to tightly hold our beautiful empty Easter baskets as we faithfully looked for our surprises.  I knew in my heart the colorfully dyed eggs were there, even though my Easter basket was empty.  I remember this feeling of joyful anticipation and faith that was deep inside of my happy heart.  I also knew in my heart, without a doubt, that if I just kept searching my living room and back yard that there would be many surprises and treats waiting just for me to…

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Simplicity of Hope and the First Day of Spring

It happened again. My favorite flower, the iris, opened on the first day of spring. My special flower of sobriety can still bring me hope.  It’s personal meaning lifts my spirit. And all I need to do is look, see, and notice what is around me and my vision will capture the importance of such simple beauty.

the bud on the day before spring. . .

the next day. It’s the 1st day of spring! My iris is right on time.

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You’ve Finally Arrived 2013, I’ve Been Waiting For You!

The clock is ticking towards the new year.  As I sit quietly at my desk the only sound I hear is the soothing hum of my small heater as it warms my toes.  It’s 34 degrees here in Southern California.  Brrr!  I’m wearing both jammies and sleeping clothes – a few layers are a good thing tonight.  The sounds of the fireworks in the distance are coming from Magic Mountain.   So, it’s official. It’s midnight. Time to say sweet dreams to 2012 – I’ve learned a lot from you – but your work here is done now.

Welcome to my life 2013 . . .

Right now I imagine that the volunteers in Pasadena, California, are quite bundled up as they painstakingly place flower after flower and blossom after blossom on their individual floats for the famous Rose Parade.  Many will be both excited and weary as they will be working nonstop until sunrise on New Year’s morning.  (Bring on the hot coffee!)

Last month I visited my dear friends since childhood who live on Orange Grove Blvd.  As I was exiting the Pasadena fwy, directly in front of me I could see that the bleachers were already set up for the parade. 

Every year they majestically sit on the corner of Orange Grove Blvd.  and Colorado Blvd.  This is where most of the T.V. cameras are and professional crews take pictures of the exquisite and larger than life floats, horses and marching bands.  (I gotta thing for marching bands!)  I grew up going to the Rose Parade every year with my childhood friends and my next door neighbors.  It was the late 60’s and 70’s and it was quite safe back then – every one was joyous and thrilled as they camped out on the sidewalks and lawns and watched the mini-pre-parade of pedestrians blowing noisemakers mixed with the sound of genuine laughter and joy.  I am especially fond of the year my father took my brother and me to the parade and magically, my father found a spot on the curb for the 3 of us to sit as we snuggled close to each other to keep warm in the early morning. Many of my childhood friends will be at this special parade tomorrow.

The “Wrigley Mansion” on Orange Grove Blvd. in Pasadena

And once again, my beautiful friend Barbara has invited me to spend the night at her childhood home and go to the parade with her.  And once again, like last year and the year before, I must graciously decline her offer.  My heart silently breaks.  I long to join her on the walk down memory lane.   My instincts tell me my body is not yet ready for such an adventure. In the same moment I can feel my emotions find a balance  –  I have surrendered to a healthy level – I have accepted the fact that, physically, I will not be up to joining her this year.  Yes, acceptance is one of my most powerful prescriptions for the many layers of health challenges with Fibromyalgia.  I will be just fine at home watching the parade on T.V. as I am sipping my hot coffee while I feel warm and cozy as I cover up with my soft and thick blanket.  I call it my “hugging blanket”.

It’s time for me to drift off to sleep now.  But first, I am compelled to give thanks and say out loud to the universe how much I appreciate the loving help that I’ve received from my dear friends this year.  Having friends can make being under the weather for a very long time more bearable.   Health challenges have not been fun.  I know I am blessed, for my friends have carried me far when I’ve been at the breaking point.  My friends have seen clearly when I was too frail and exhausted to see for myself.  Yes, I am blessed.  In a soft whisper, I say to myself many times a day as I do right now, “Because I have loving, kind and helpful friends, I am truly blessed.  Thank you God.”   And I am blessed to know that my friend Barbara will ask me to go to the Rose Parade with her again next year – because that’s what friends do – they don’t give up on you.

2012 is over and gone now, but my authentic friends are here to stay.  I needed to learn that lesson this year.

Welcome to the family 2013, you’ve finally arrived!

Good health, comforting sounds and loving words my friends,

jules xo

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The Grand Opening Of Our New Library

The new library is about to have its Grand Opening!  I remember last year taking pictures not only as construction began, but of the surrounding streets as well in my community, Santa Clarita.  Click on link to see last year’s post.

5 Things I’m Grateful For In My Community

Being witness to this incredible library has shown me  hope and perseverance as I enjoy watching the “work in progress”.   Reminding me to have patience with my progress as well.

The local website says: Residents will also have the opportunity to explore the new, state-of-the-art, 30,000 square foot Old Town Newhall Library, which offers more than 135,000 literary items, 68 public use computers, private study spaces, and meeting rooms.  Additional highlights of the Library include a children’s library, teen study area, a fireplace reading Ramada, community meeting areas, an outdoor courtyard, art and photographic displays, an artistic replication of Beale’s Cut, and original works of art.

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Still Sober. Still Learning.

At this moment in time I am overwhelmed with feelings of gratitude for my continued sobriety. I feel I am one of the lucky ones.  I’ve worked hard at staying sober – yet I feel lucky.  Another sober anniversary is just around the corner.  August 2nd.  Whew.   I’ve felt a deeper level of gratitude for my sobriety since I was finally diagnosed with Fibromyalgia.  I do admit that the past few years have been an arss kicker – but the beautiful thing is – I’m doing it.  I’ve learned at a deeper level that keeping my focus on just what is in front of me is helpful.  I do my best to look at what is in front of me so it takes at least some of my focus off of my chronic pain.  I am on my way right now to my first appointment at The Pain Center that my doctor set up for me. . . . I can do this one moment at a time.  No one said I had to do it gracefully.  I’m simply doing the very best that I can.

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