For a couple of years now I’ve been in survival mode with my health challenges. One month ago, June 7th, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. Extreme Fibromyalgia and Fatigue. The last month I’ve been learning as much as I can while I let the diagnosis sink in. My life has become more and more simple – which I find to be quite helpful. I have not felt bullet proof the way I did once upon a time. My home is a place of peace and comfort. I am grateful to live where I feel the presence of healing all around me. My sanctuary. My shangrilah. A home full of healthy food that I can eat and books to keep filling my soul.
My son mentioned to me that I need to stop comparing myself to who I used to physically be. “I do that?” I asked him. “Yep. . . And it’s great that you loved being in the ocean and longboarding, but try to start looking forward more to find what you are able to do and enjoy now.”
Dam. Whose kid is this? “You’re right Son.”
Well yes, my body is weary – but I keep my spirit strong – sometimes even joyful. One thing I do know is that I could not have survived this long haul if I did not have God to lean on 24 hours a day. I lean my weary painful body on Him and He gently leads me in the right direction – a direction where I see things easily fall into their proper place.
Of course I cry – physical pain is a rough one – and it has taken its toll on my body. I can see it in my face. My body is quite weary. I must rest often. Yet, my spirit is strong. My spirit can bring me both comfort and strength. I’ve learned so much under these circumstances of unemployment and ill-health. When I seek God, my spirit once more is strong. My lessons will not be wasted. In due time they will find a perfect fit in my future. I will not allow my body to define who I am. I remind myself that God has big plans for me. I don’t mind standing by and spending a little more time in between His miracles. Wait and see. Stand by.
I am hopeful and have many blessings to count. I do have everything I need to be as comfortable as possible. Of course I cry – but the tears are healthy and cleansing – it passes – joy returns to my soul. I am surrounded by endless blessings.
I’ll do my best to be patient as I learn to manage the pain – both dull and sharp pains.
I learned long ago that I can only afford to have loving supportive people around me – I do not have extra energy for anything or any one that is not authentic or positive. A simple life is a good life that will help me heal.
(below is a little info on Fibromyalgia)
www.fmaware.org informative link
The National Fibromyalgia Association says: Chronic widespread body pain is the primary symptom of fibromyalgia. Most people with fibromyalgia also experience moderate to extreme fatigue, sleep disturbances, sensitivity to touch, light, and sound, and cognitive difficulties. Many individuals also experience a number of other symptoms and overlapping conditions, such as irritable bowel syndrome, lupus and arthritis.
The pain of fibromyalgia is profound, chronic and widespread. It can migrate to all parts of the body and vary in intensity. FM pain has been described as stabbing and shooting pain and deep muscular aching, throbbing, and twitching. Neurological complaints such as numbness, tingling, and burning are often present and add to the discomfort of the patient. The severity of the pain and stiffness is often worse in the morning. Aggravating factors that affect pain include cold/humid weather, non-restorative sleep, physical and mental fatigue, excessive physical activity, physical inactivity, anxiety and stress.
In today’s world many people complain of fatigue; however, the fatigue of FM is much more than being tired after a particularly busy day or after a sleepless night. The fatigue of FM is an all-encompassing exhaustion that can interfere with occupational, personal, social or educational activities. Symptoms include profound exhaustion and poor stamina
- Sleep problems
Many fibromyalgia patients have an associated sleep disorder that prevents them from getting deep, restful, restorative sleep. Medical researchers have documented specific and distinctive abnormalities in the Stage 4 deep sleep of FM patients. During sleep, individuals with FM are constantly interrupted by bursts of awake-like brain activity, limiting the amount of time they spend in deep sleep.
- Other symptoms/overlapping conditions
Additional symptoms may include: irritable bowel and bladder, headaches and migraines, restless legs syndrome (periodic limb movement disorder), impaired memory and concentration, skin sensitivities and rashes, dry eyes and mouth, anxiety, depression, ringing in the ears, dizziness, vision problems, Raynaud’s Syndrome, neurological symptoms, and impaired coordination. . . .