Can I do this for another day? Homebound, sleeping 10 -11 hours a night. Shaking the heavy cob webs off of me every morning. Not having the energy to stay in touch or let alone keep up with friends. (Except for my occasional lighthearted and forced positive posting on Facebook. Oy.)
So – can I do this for another day? “You bet! Absolutely!” I lied. I made myself say the words out loud. “I’m determined to stay positive gosh darn it!” I have times when I am not patient with my healing process. So easy for me to forget that sleeping a lot means my body is finally starting to heal. But I was feeling lousy. I must stay positive. But I feel positively lousy!!
Ok Julie, it’s time for a little cardio – carrying the trash out. Off I went, like a herd of wild turtles. I finally arrived to the end of my condo complex driveway. Oh joy. I felt the strain on my weary body as I lifted the heavy lid to the dumpster with one arm and dropped the bag full of trash inside with my other arm. “Well done.” I said to my self sarcastically as I turned and started to slowly walk back. “I can do this. I will get past this.” I whispered with tears welling up in my eyes . . . “I will get past this.”
A sweet breeze blew right past me. I watched it head up to the trees. The beauty of the contrasting sunlight and shadows caught my attention. I found it to be so captivating I stopped in my tracks. Something magical happened – I felt a little less lousy.
As I returned inside I noticed my one and only Iris bloom that I had brought in from my patio had opened! The Iris is my special flower of sobriety. It looked gorgeous sitting next to one of my mothers beautiful paintings. This is the 2nd thing that helped me feel a little less lousy.
This brings me back to remembering the number one thing that can help me feel a little better when I am feeling a little lousy – keep on saying positive words out loud. Even if I don’t feel positive while I say it, at the very least, I’ll start to feel a little less lousy. And it most certinally won’t make me feel worse. Do I really believe this? You bet! Absolutely! Because it opens my mind back up and enables me to see all the blessings and goodness that surround me at all times.
So. . . Can I do this for another day? You bet! Absolutely I can do this!