I am thankful for a realization that came over me today. It was profound and quite unexpected. I found myself in deep and unplanned reflection – first of my endless unemployment – then endless health challenges, chronic pain and sitting in different doctors offices. I have experienced isolation and loneliness I’ve never known in my life – but these both come with the territory of ill-health. It would be a polite understatement to call this special year a “rough road” that will soon be over and I’ll get my old life back again. In reality, I see now that this rough road has actually been the beginning of the fact that a new life is just up ahead. A new simple life with bigger meaning. A life that I am looking forward to – a comfortable life with vibrant health – a pain free life. My old hectic life with many different levels of friendships is no longer meant to be.
I am thankful that my life has become simple and quiet. When my life was hectic and fast paced I missed many important things that were right in front of me. I was too distracted as I hurried.
My whole world that presently encompasses me has been evolving into something I never would have expected. My health challenges have given me the opportunity to see not only what I am made of, but what the people I have had allowed in my life are truly made of as well. What kind of “friendship fit” has each one of my friends been in the past? What kind of support and love do we offer each other – if anything? Not having extra energy to burn has taught me the importance at a deeper level just who I invite into my life.
For many long and uncomfortable months full of health challenges that keep me home, I’ve been saying to myself, “more shall be revealed – just wait and see what is in store.”
The authenticity and true colors of the people around me is what has been revealed to me. I have been blessed with the opportunity to learn a great lesson. To be able to keep my eyes open to what is happening around me. To take note of who steps forward towards me, who is with me when I am in ill-health and not as fun as I used to be. And take note of just who is stepping back, who is not with me. But this is ok, this is good, because I want to see with open eyes who is not with me. I am incredibly blessed and thankful for what I am able to see – to witness – during one of my biggest and seemingly endless lessons of all. I know I am not perfect but my heart is pure and honest. (Perhaps too pure and too honest?)
Soon, I will be stronger and have enough energy to live one full day without stopping due to my fatigue. And it is not my beloved old life that I will get to have back again – I have been given the opportunity to gain even more strength and power than I ever thought I could acquire. I see now that God is planning a sweet, peaceful and comfortable life for me – a life of bigger meaning and purpose. And because I have been enduring this time of ill-health and isolation, I will embrace and understand my new and improved life that is waiting for me. Life will keep getting better and better for me. My endless stream of gratitude and appreciation is already beginning as I stand by overflowing with hope – and for this I am thankful.