So?! How do I look? How do I sound?! I am writing from my new laptop as I speak! I have moved on from my old one. Amazing how much can happen when my laptop crashes – I can not write when I am suddenly incredibly inspired and I have to look and compare and shop and sleep on it and stress and FINALLY buy another one. My book I’m writing is safe and sound as well. However, as I have mentioned before, my vision and layout of my book has changed, so I have been doing some re-writing. I believe it stems from my continued sobriety during this time of unemployment. 12 months of unemployment. Like many others, not in my wildest dreams would I believe I would be in this situation for this long. Not only am I still sober but also because of my continued food sensitivities – I am acutely aware of every feeling that passes through my soul – as if I am forced to look at the world around me through a giant magnifying glass. Sugar has been removed from my diet for a year as well. It has not been my choice to be stripped of any kind of a security blanket. No alcohol, no job, no child in the house, no sweets for the sweet. Come to think of it, I left most of my furniture and belongings in Omaha so I would not have to pay to move it all. I have been humbled. Quite, quite humbled. I know none of this journey would have been bestowed upon me if it wasn’t part of God’s big plan for me. Yep, a custom-made plan, just for me. Actually – how cool is that?! I think towards my future and I have faith it will be a perfect fit – when God sees fit. What a blessing this spiritual remodeling has been. Yes indeed it does not come with out discomfort, yet, I still call it a blessing because I know I would not be in this time and space in my life unless it was necessary for the complete comfort of my future. If simply being sober and knowing my son is happy and healthy is not enough for me, then surely there is something wrong with me – and me alone. In one of my posts from last month I spoke of a day when I was being a sensitive mom while my son was moving in with his girlfriend. I am so proud of him and his choices and I care deeply for both of them. I stayed true to what I knew was right and I left them alone. I felt free as well as excited for them. I did nothing except live my own life and feel my own feelings. I did receive the phone call from my son inviting me to come see their new place. My goodness were they thrilled! Their place was beautiful, bright and charming – just like both of them. I was honored to be an invited guest in their home. And what a privilege to spend time with two such lovely happy people. Their life is their own – yet we are still close. My son calls me on his way home from work quite often – what a pleasure. What child does not flourish when given room to grow?! Yes, it is a beautiful life, as long as I don’t drink and as long as I am grateful, it will keep on getting better. I feel my own dream is getting closer.