I can’t sleep – again. I am becoming quite concerned. I do not remember the last time I was up this late, unable to sleep since I quit drinking over 22 years ago. I don’t remember having experienced this not sleeping thing at such a high-anxiety level, ever. I might as well be on neighborhood watch. It is becoming extremely difficult to function during the day and turns out I am unable to nap also. I received a short E mail from a friend today and I responded with a couple of my usual clever tidbits and then I added, “I’m not sleeping”. She wrote me back with one sentence, “Why can’t you sleep?”. To which my reply was, “Writing my book.” But actually, I don’t believe that it is the “writing” keeping me up, but the wake of thoughts created by my time travel during my writing. I can not calm my mind down. It has been happening for a couple of months now and it is a big concern for me. I waste a lot of time the next day trying to shake off the cob webs. I am also unemployed. I also miss my cat terribly. I miss her so horribly that I do not dare speak to anyone about it for fear I will publicly burst into tears. As if there could be more tears left. My beautiful black cat named King died of old age when she was 16 years old, about 3 months ago on February 12th. She was brave. And no, I am not going to get another cat. It is not quite that simple. Not right now anyway.
No matter how challenging a situation may be for me – I can still pray and pray – it helps my head point torwards a more positive direction.
It is also good to pray for our sons and daughters and our friends sons and daughters, when we can not sleep.